serious things and small confessions

20101225 - Christmas in Australia (10)

I said I had some ‘serious things and small confessions’ to share this weekend to explain the lack on communication over the last few days of my juicy week (juice fast), and I have been procrastinating. I’m blaming the hurricane… even though I’ve been sitting on this for 5 days and that was only yesterday.

So the serious things are emotional eating and weight loss. The small confessions are that I didn’t have a single day in the last week that was all juice, and I had a few (dairy-free dark) chocolate-covered macadamia nuts… ooops.

Emotional eating* is really not something I want to talk too much about, save to say that I am definitely an emotional eater, as are most people I suppose! When I’m in crazy raw vegan mode and not lazy un-raw vegan mode I don’t think it really matters that I eat all day because it’s healthy food, it keeps my energy levels up and sustains my happiness. Whenever I tell myself I can’t eat, i.e. juice fasting or Conscious Lifestyler’s 30 day challenge that I tried last year (which I can’t recommend highly enough, I lurve pulse!), my happiness dwindles and I get bored (work also sometimes contributes to that), I feel hungry and I want to eat. This, coupled with the fact I’m no good at saying no, even to myself, doesn’t result in happy detoxing. In my first blog about juice fasting I did re-position it as a ‘juicy week’ to try and trick myself into believing I wasn’t going without but I sometimes I’m just not disciplined enough – ouch. I felt great on day 2 after juice and salads, then by day 3 I wanted, needed, had to have food! And because I haven’t been in the kitchen for a few weeks I’m unorganized and don’t have any raw foods easily available so I reach for corn chips and hummus. Bellyache-city.

The whole weight loss thing is going to make some of you feel confused, annoyed or downright mad – and that’s ok, I get those reactions a lot. I am genetically slim. I can’t help it. But I want you to know that this doesn’t mean life is easy. In high school my nickname was ‘Anna’, short for anorexic. We never really had unhealthy food at my house but I used to binge on whatever I could find to try and put on some weight… mainly a delicious Australian biscuit (cracker) called Barbecue Shapes**. I used to buy sausage rolls at the school canteen and eat the puff pastry off the outside because I didn’t like processed meat. I used to eat as many cookies as I could. It was not pretty. And while I don’t do that kind of thing anymore, the minute I lose any weight people are on me. Not in a mean way anymore but a ‘we love you and you look too thin’ kind of way. So I’m kind of reluctant to go all juice in case it prompts another round of justifications I have to make. Subconscious sabotage.

Then there’s all the typically excuses – work functions, bad experiments with juice combos, didn’t have time etc…

So that’s the reason I went a little radio silent last week.

The good news? I did drink a lot of juice, and it did clean me out – having done a colon cleanse I know how that works now! Gross but important, sorry :) I have also decided perhaps I’m better at having weeks when I significantly up my juice intake and still have some raw meals. That way I don’t go without but I don’t end up buying something cooked for lunch if I’m stuck in the office with a juice I don’t like! Also, when I’m in my inspired crazy raw vegan mode (which is most of the time), I don’t have much to detox from anyway.

Hope this wasn’t too much of an indulgence, I just wanted to provide honest feedback on my juicy week and hopefully provide some realism to this kind of thing. I read a lot about ‘perfect detoxers’ and quite honestly, sometimes I want the truth.

Happy juicing – make it work for you!


*I found an interesting article on emotional eating on WebMD if you’re interested…

** The photo is of me last Christmas – I went home for the first time in three years and the only thing I wanted to eat was Barbecue Shapes! So they were Christmas brunch by the sea.

3 Comments on “serious things and small confessions

  1. Don’t be hard on yourself. Life can be crazy in itself sometimes. Work, moods, hurricanes! :) It’s all good. The goal is for the best you can do at any given time. I feel that if I do great for 2 weeks and have a blip on the radar for 3 days, my world is still okay! Hang in there and be good to yourself…’re already back in “crazy raw vegan” world…I can tell by the post!

    • You’re wonderful Brucette, thanks! You always have something wonderfully encouraging to say :)

      Yes, I’m back in crazy raw vegan mode… waiting for a delivery of groceries and then it’s all on! More recipes, yay!! And I can’t wait to attack Mimi Kirk’s book Live Raw, check it out xx

  2. Pingback: energy juice « crazy raw vegan

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